the eleventh of october

When I finally earned a decent paycheck – seven bucks an hour, used bookstore clerk, Seattle, 1996 – I started buying my mother flowers on my birthday. Once cheap celebratory sheet cake grew tired and presents could only disappoint – cue the Fugazi, the Cobain – I decided October 11th was about her, not me. […]

Read More the eleventh of october


Mine started somewhere in the inbetween of December and January, but I don’t have a name for it yet. Science calls it a blepharospasm. The Chinese say it’s a sign of coming good fortune. A flicking one morning, a tugging that afternoon, the pulling took root swiftly. I envisioned little worker mites trotting across the […]

Read More Visiting

The Bell

I’m in a waiting room at an oncology clinic. Fluorescents in the drop ceiling hover, unscrewed by someone some time before. Tacky nicotine-tinted sconces push a dull haze on the fabrics of the room, patterns just to the right of paisley, all murky and mustard. The room is full and we all wait together, here, […]

Read More The Bell

This Scourge #2

Summer 2017. I take out the blanket and you don’t notice. I shuffle through a cluttered house, arranging, rearranging, setting a scene, imagining how it’ll be, wondering what you know, where you go when you come in and out. You, in the corner, with your hunger sounds and weak purr and soft weirdness. With your […]

Read More This Scourge #2